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"Hey, new guy. What are you in for?"

'Poor old Rex looks gasping for a pint!'

Do you think Mum & Dad enjoy adultery as much as we enjoy infancy?

"If all goes according to plan I plan to start planning to have plans for everything."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

Billy. The Kid.

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

Lactose Intolerant

Reagacentennial

A tortoise toboggans down a hill in its shell

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

A caveman paints from life

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

The Family Joules: Part 16

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

A cow poos down a hole.'UH-OH!'

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

'It's an extinction notice.'

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"The unlucky lemming"