Comical Procrastinator Gifts

"The cat's sleeping." "She's so comfy." "If I move I'll wake her up." "The phone is ringing... They'll call back later." "I'm hungry... But it'll pass." "Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'1001 things to do whilst waiting to get on the internet.'

E-waste - 'Well there's another hour gone on email.'

'A cyber-terrorist stole my homework. I have a note from the CIA. '

'He's never going to graduate. How about giving him an honorary degree instead?'

In and Out Box

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

'What do you mean we can't finish on time? Do you want history to say that Rome wasn't built in a day?'

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

Al, The Go-From Guy

"Shouldn't you be studying?

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

The Last-Minute Halloween Costume Parade

'Hey, boss, what's a 7 letter work starting with 'w' that represents what I should be doing rather than solving crossword puzzles?'

"Get dressed and sculpt something already."

Invaders from Planet Manava.

'Work's the greatest thing on earth... so I'm saving some up for tomorrow!'

'I would have had these reports done sooner, but someone rolled a ball with a bell inside it into my cubicle.'

"Where do you come up with your rationalizations for not writing?"

"I didn't prioritize my day and now I'm stagnant."

"A 15 page 'to do' list is a 'don't do' list."

Jeffrey N.: The Guy who managed to get the lead out of his pants, but they were still the wrong pants.

Trust your instinct...listen to that little haunting voice that gives you subtle messages...'call in sick.'

"Thanks for coming in on the weekend....although let's admit it, you took a nap at your desk that happened to last all night..."

"How about fashionably never?"