Procrastination Humor Gifts

"This is the office of 'so now you've decided that you finally need to graduate.' How may I help you?"

"I didn't prioritize my day and now I'm stagnant."

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"Three weeks until the pitch, LOADS of time!"

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

Desk Boxes: 'In', 'Out', 'Could Go Either Way'.

"Why can't I get anything done unless I'm totally stressed out about it?" "Is it possible to be relaxed and still be productive?" "What is wrong with my brain?" "Why don't you work better?"

"Better start moving towards shelter: the weather forecast is for rain this afternoon..."

'I hate Mondays.'

'Truth? I am just looking out the window...'

Travelogue

"I wasn't expecting to be in here for so long."

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

"Don't open me, you fool!"

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

"I really start dragon around 3 o'clock."

"I tried getting good grades without studying, but it isn't working."

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

Indecision and Outrage Trays

'I understand you have nothing to do, York.'

"Not tonight, Jon. I have to clean for the cleaning lady."

In, Out, Shake it all about

"And then, suddenly, it was 3 P.M., and she hadn't really got anything done."

The four housemen of procrastination

The Graveyard of Past Deadlines