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I always felt I should have been born into royalty, Doctor Kapuchnik. If it's any consolation, Al, you're a royal pain.

Alien embryo growing in earth.

"Sorry, the sound of your chewing sends me into a rage."

A Crash-test Dummy child about to have a ride on a car crash test ride in a shopping centre mall.

"Yeah, the Jekyll and Hyde thing is weird, but if I play it right, I get fed twice."

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

"Albert the Great—what a joke."

'I'm not a happy bunny.'

"Honestly, I thought you were a metaphor."

"Sometime I feel people go out of their way just to scare me."

'Pencil on couch being psycho analysed.'

'Under blood type, sir, could you be a little more specific than blue?'

I've been feeling sluggish lately.

'The Neurosis Pack.'

"Teach me not to care."

Psychiatrist to man dressed in baseball jersey: 'You've never gotten over the fact your father wouldn't play catch with you?'

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

"The fact that I have multiple personalities and none of them are computer literate is depressing."

"Alexa, does this guy have mother issues?"

Sardine psychologist.

'I may not really need you. My imaginary friend is a psychiatrist.'

"It's your turn to change him."

"I'm sensing that the role-playing homework I gave you didn't work."

Can I take your disorder?

"It covers up all the debt."

"About that insomnia...have you tried counting billable hours?"

"Nobody loves me." "Yeah, nobody listens to me. Not even my wife." "My kids don't respect me."

"No heroic measures."

Let's try something new, Al. I'll say a word, then you remain mercifully silent for the rest of the hour.

Laughter Therapy.

"Would it be possible to speak with the personality that pays the bills."

'Group hug anyone?'

'Right. Like I'd tell YOU.'

"You've got a few screws loose."

"And what can I do for you, Sir?"