Comic Strips Fan Gifts

'Horoscope, stay indoors and keep your mouth shut.' 'So, no dentist.'

'I was abducted by aliens, but they wouldn't probe me because I didn't have health insurance.'

'How do you expect me to take a week off work - I haven't had a job in 10 years?'

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

Grace For Flies

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

Batman at the Maternity Ward

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

Fly Football

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'No ice.'

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

Assault 'n' Vinegar

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"So, you say I'll be doubling the numbers of animals I kill?"

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

Please Drove Carefully.

McMorkim's Cheeses Security A gang of mice wheeling in a giant mousetrap with Pizza and Beer as bait to a Security Guard's post hoping to gain access to a cheese Factory if the Guard is trapped.

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

Early photobombing

"Don’t worry, this guy is totally cool. Just don’t mention the Red Baron."

"But if you cure my hypochondria I won't have any hobbies."

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.