Comic Strip Enthusiasts Gifts

"You've been at the North Pole for a long time. How come you haven't moved to Florida?"

'I hate Mondays.'

"Who was that unmasked man?"

4-Panel: (1) 'Did you read this article on cockroaches?' (2) 'It says scientists have confirmed conditioned reflexes in cockroaches, just like Pavlov's dogs. I don't know if I believe that!' (4) 'What's for dinner?'

'I've come for your car's gasoline.'

'Let me back in, nothing but pigeon shit.'

'I've never been good at delivering bad news, Fenster. Turn around.'

'I'm not complaining, but shouldn't we be in training for Armageddon or something?'

Money and hair only seem important when you don't have any!

Harry ordered a takeaway.

'I was here first. How about a little professional courtesy?'

'There's no money in comic strips.'

"If you can hold it for another minute, I think I see some land."

Out to lunch (in kitchen).

Hi, I'm Rolf Fusco, of the Fusco Brothers. I'm saving these seats for my brothers, Lars, Al and Lance. When was the last time you got to meet a comic strip character? Not since the time Dondi stole my purse.

You want to take a vacation from the comic strip? Exactly. We've been going nonstop for five years. Let's ask the fine, upstanding Rudy Park creators and readers for a couple of weeks off. These are compassionate, kind, intelligent, forward-thinking people. How can they say no? Because they hate obsequious whiners? You are devlishly handsome.

It's peaceful around here. Sadie has laryngitis. She lost her voice screaming about how she thinks our generation is totally self-obsessed. It's mean stuff, but sad too. When she can't yell, it makes her less threatening. You're stinky and half-evolved. Nice penmanship.

Fireside Chat with: Recession Man! (A superhero who comes to the aid of gals distressed by tough economic times). It's the middle of summer, Recession Man. So. R. Why are we having a fireside chat? Shouldn't we be somewhere cooler? The dancing flames pick up the light in your eyes. But I'm hot. It's hot in here. Take off your outer layer. Tomorrow: Recession man saves the day.

Time-Travelers Employment Agency. Well, of course, I have gaps in my work history.

What time do you finish here? Menu. Right after this word balloon. Thank goodness.

I think you've cured my depression, doctor. Lately, when I read the funny papers, it seems to me like "The Family Circus" has gone over to the dark side.

"Birthdays . . . are like farts. Sometimes. . . they're s**t."

"Hey! Leave some for me! You're being shellfish again, Tim!"

Grace For Flies

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

They're Not Just That Into It

Batman at the Maternity Ward

Fly Football

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

Assault 'n' Vinegar

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"Don’t worry, this guy is totally cool. Just don’t mention the Red Baron."

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'