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"You've been at the North Pole for a long time. How come you haven't moved to Florida?"

'I hate Mondays.'

4-Panel: (1) 'Did you read this article on cockroaches?' (2) 'It says scientists have confirmed conditioned reflexes in cockroaches, just like Pavlov's dogs. I don't know if I believe that!' (4) 'What's for dinner?'

'I've come for your car's gasoline.'

'Let me back in, nothing but pigeon shit.'

'I've never been good at delivering bad news, Fenster. Turn around.'

'I'm not complaining, but shouldn't we be in training for Armageddon or something?'

Money and hair only seem important when you don't have any!

Harry ordered a takeaway.

'I was here first. How about a little professional courtesy?'

'There's no money in comic strips.'

"If you can hold it for another minute, I think I see some land."

"Birthdays . . . are like farts. Sometimes. . . they're s**t."

"Hey! Leave some for me! You're being shellfish again, Tim!"

Grace For Flies

Batman at the Maternity Ward

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

Fly Football

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

Assault 'n' Vinegar

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

"Don’t worry, this guy is totally cool. Just don’t mention the Red Baron."

'Actually, we were hoping you guys would have the solution to all our problems.'

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

Fish hunting for men.

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

"Bless You."

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

The prying mantis,

The mysterious Sherlock Holmes - 'Is he wearing his cap backwards or forwards?'

"Did you remember to take the trash in?"