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Tarzan & Jane Take Up Square Dancing

"Hi, I'm Hugo -- I'll be your compliance officer."

'You never had it so good! Just wait! You'll come crawling back to me!'

'I don't know about other dogs, but the reason I chased your car is to tell you your left tail light is out.'

'There's no easy way to tell you this Mr.Lymtop...But i'm afraid you have an inoperable brain tuna.'

Mayan 2012

'Bad dog!'

'What a gyp! Yesterday, after I got fixed, I put my testicles under my pillow, and all I got was a quarter!'

'Geoff, when I said that I wanted you to make the office more 'youth friendly' I was thinking more of some magazines in reception!'

'Are you sure there isn't something I could do for extra credit?'

'Your Honor, I have nothing to hide.'

How electric eels "welcome" door-to-door salesmen

Magnet School. A "magnet school"? Won't that mess up the computers?

'Sorry, I'm to tired to walk you today.'

'Not quite the effect I was going for.'

'Why is it I get depressed and you two don't?' (arrows on his uniform point down when his friend's arrows point up).

'This should be good -- Adam just claimed seniority.'

Man wearing tee shirt bearing the slogan; 'Enjoy yourself', is being followed by the Grim Reaper, who is wearing a tee shirt bearing the slogan; 'It's later than you think'.

'They're like ice! You're like a giant vampire bat sucking the warmth out of me!'

You are wasting your time, Monsieur. I am French and therefore on strike!

'So who's smoking?'

'So how many commandments does your church have?'

'Well, we always said as long as he's got ten fingers and ten toes . . .'

Golfer in cartoon rips page

'I didn't know they had board-certified panhandlers.'

'I pay very small life insurance premiums - but there are some drawbacks!'

Nobody needs to get hurt. Just provide us with your launch codes and we are done here!

"His breed's too proud to beg"

Swami Trevor's Brotherhood of Celestial Enlightenment

"You were doing over eighty miles an hour. What do you expect? I was listening to The Flight of the Bumble Bee."

"They've run out of forks again."

Flooding

What late birds do.

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

"We're gonna help Cruz with an extreme makeover housecleaning! There's only one thing missing...a willing participant!"