Comic Situation Admirer Pillows

'Dude! Quick! Jump in! We've got to balance the load!'

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

Iliadette.

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

"Good news...turns out it was just your battery!"

'I hate to say this but no amount of analysis is going to help; you need a better cartoonist.'

Time management office worker

"She left everything to you. But, the hamster is contesting the will."

'OMG! Is it Christmas already?'

'What's your poisson?' (Man reading report on Farmed Salmon Toxins Scare).

Committee On Feline Healthcare

"Not wearing deodorant is not what I meant by 'respect the local customs'"

'Burf, I think the ants are trying to tell us something.

'That's the one that attacked me, officer! The one with the stupid look on his face!'

"Previously on..."

"Your Majesty, this learned committee has done deep research on the subject, and we have come to one conclusion: queens often marry down."

'You were nagging your husband all over the road. I'll need to see your marriage license.'

Woman stuck doing situps has spider web being built under arm

Things we rarely hear: Bow...er...wow...er..um...woof/like tweet, I mean, y'know, tweet/whatchamacallit moo...

"Online I said I was 'blond and curvy', I didn't say I was a woman!"

Running in please pass

"All I know is that one of them was raised by wolves, and the other was raised by geeks."

Adoption centre nurse accepting a bribe from a pack of wolves

"I do hope you've got enough for a sample, Mr Furse."

"That's not what you told my screener you wanted to talk about."

'I'm not naturally dense you know...Its taken years of practice.'