Comic Relief In Healthy Debates Gifts

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

'I've got this feeling, like a heavy weight on my stomach.'

"Welcome to Mars. We assume you're all up to date on your vaccinations?"

"Looks like you both suffer from IBS. You...irritable bowel. Your friend...irritable burl."

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

Antibiotics versus probiotics: A battle of wills.

'Can you make me taste like broccoli?'

"Wuhan virus, Ebola, West Nile, Asian Flu. . . what's wrong with good old American diseases?"

Vaping cigarette

'We can only offer you our basic dental plan: this dental floss and a pack of sugar-free gum.'

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Advertisements for 'Brother Marsh- faith healer and Deacon 'Speed' Alton- emergency room'.

The controversy of ROW VS WAIT: 'Row, to find fish!'

'I wonder if we're getting enough fibre?'

'No, Neville. I don't think anyone will ever open a burger bar around here. Now, finish your carrion!'

Studies show some foods work miracles/study says studies are a crock.

'The bad news is you've got something no one's ever heard of...the good news is we're naming it after you!'

'You'll never convince me that phone masts aren't a health risk.'

"Oh, the doctor told you not to work so hard, did he?... And does the doctor pay your salary?!"

Anti-Vaxxers aren't stupid. They just need to be convinced!

Quack Medicine

'-OK, if you elect not to have the surgery, the insurance company offers six days and seven nights in Barbados.'

"You know, the hardest thing is getting them to admit they don't have a problem!"

"I'm an anti-masker."

'It's a filthy and nasty habit, but at least, you won't end up with yellow teeth...'

You're as healthy as a horse, Mr. Fusco. But since you're a wolverine, I'm not sure if that's a step up or a step down

"Well, thanks for coming over with the soup and the subtle condemnations of my use of Western medicine."

'My wife's on a diet. Do you have anything like chocolate covered celery?'

Pink Slime Burger

'You need to lose about 30 pounds of gravitas.'

'Oh yeah, really healthy! You do realize that cereal is just another soy based product?'

'The doctor said you've been whining about taking a baby aspirin everyday, so he's switching you to crybaby aspirin.'

Obese evolution