Comic Relief In Finance Pillows

"We fire pound coins at each other at high speeds and hope for the best ..."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Overjumpers

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

"Yes, three of a kind beats two pair."

"Barlow, it's come to my attention that you've called in, 'Playing Possum' 8 days this month."

"It says here on your resume that one of your qualities is a sense of humor. Care to elaborate?"

"Aren't we going a little overboard with Friday's casual dress code!?"

'I think my teacher has a crush on me. She's holding me back for another year.'

'Sleep on your face again, Phil?'

Tourist in the desert

Break Glass in Case of Stress

"A raise? You want me to give you a raise? Do I look like f*ckin' Santa Claus?"

'I can't say I like your cavalier attitude Benson.'

'On Company Time: A Novel'

Gentleman, things are worse than we thought.

Of course I've not dusted - You know I favour a matt finish!'

"On the plus side, you're on the cover of all the major business publications."

"Use your words, Jefferson! Not a roundhouse to the face!"

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

'Let's face it...We have irreconcilable differences!'

"I used to waste a lot of time explaining myself to family, friends and shrinks. Now I only explain myself to Rick."

"Any questions?" (Company's down the toilet.)

Maybe next tiime you'll hand in the risk assessment on time

'I must be getting good, because my Dad told me to go play for the neighbours!'

"You've got pussyfooting from 10 to 11, shilly-shallying until 12, then hemming and hawing the rest of the afternoon."

'Nothing to worry about, Mr. Jenkins, some people do have a mild reaction to the flu shot!'

Do you think I have a problem delegating?

'Sorry, but I don't think you're right for our company.'

"Having captions above makes me feel like I'm doing grand opera."

'I went online to check out my ancestry and I found that my dad, 10,000 times removed, was an amoeba!'

'I don't want bread crumbs. I'd prefer some money to buy a cheeseburger.'