Comic Relief Detective Pillows

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Overjumpers

In a cycle - one bucket out, one bucket in.

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

"I'm trying to create a hologram of myself. If I'm successful, I'll never have to attend school, go to the dentist or go anywhere else that's boring again."

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

"Ever eat a bird?"

"Touché"

"Trust me. Don't do it."

"It says here on your resume that one of your qualities is a sense of humor. Care to elaborate?"

The First Printed Bible

"Yes, three of a kind beats two pair."

"That's where the pain gets me, doc."

"First, we'll look for repressed memories of malpractice suits."

"Aren't we going a little overboard with Friday's casual dress code!?"

'I think my teacher has a crush on me. She's holding me back for another year.'

A kid squirting gunk from an umbrella.

"What kind of sinker are you using?!"

'To err is human... but to forgive is against company policy!'

'No no!! Not that one... The BIG one on the top shelf!!'

My therapist cured me of using humour as a defense...these days I pack a .45.

Comedian faces audience of clowns: 'Ooh, tough crowd.'

"I don't know, what do you want to do today?"

Break Glass in Case of Stress

“Rumor has it, it’s happy hour.”

Tourist in the desert

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

"What's this? Now we have to hunt, gather and collate?"

"I've changed my mind"

Of course I've not dusted - You know I favour a matt finish!'