Comic Relief Hunter Pillows

"First, we'll look for repressed memories of malpractice suits."

"It was probably a mistake to have cut him off on the Major Deegan."

My therapist cured me of using humour as a defense...these days I pack a .45.

"Get lost!"

Lose money fast - ask me how!

'What are you staring at? You have free wi fi here, don't you?'

Bird watcher close encounter.

Cheese of the Week: Brie

"Whoa! - You ARE a jealous god!"

On lion shopping.

“Rumor has it, it’s happy hour.”

"I should have listened when it said 'this call is being monitored for your protection'."

'Can I see your license,please?'

'I think we got off route a bit... '

'I'm working overtime to eat my way to health.'

"I was, like...glued to my seat."

"No... He's not Superman! The S stands for supersalesman."

"Aren't we allergic to nuts?"

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

You Are Here

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Overjumpers

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

Cat with Lion reflection in mirror

'It's good to be here. We're having economic problems where we come from.'

"Eat me"

"Did you check the SPF, dear?"