Comic Book Fan Gifts

"Them's fighting words."

The Mostly Invisible Man

The advanced motivational exercise required killing the boss, burying the body and not ratting out your co-workers.

Scientist discover a new superbug

'It's done wonders for my self-esteem.'

Dear Santa...

'He's our new Blood and Haematology Specialist.'

Introducing...Idiotman!

"I believe they're a debt collection agency."

'No, Dear, a 'hot flash' is not a comic book superhero power.'

"Nobody wants to hang out with Bedbug Man."

"Thanks, Super Rich Man."

'Son, it's time we told you. There are some people in this world who don't LIKE brussels sprouts...'

"Here's my card, sweetie. I also happen to do a bit of lawyering on the side."

"That's great, but you still have to walk more."

"I see under special skills you've listed, 'able to leap tall buildings in a single bound'."

'Oh, sure, that little punk Peter Parker gets bitten by a spider...me, I get slimed by a radioactive snail'

"I was a weirdo in this town before anyone even heard of Comic Con."

The singularity is near

'Buy me a drink, Mister?', 'Sorry, Miss, but I'm a married man. You know -- broke.'

The Shed Mystery: 'Well, don't forget Occam's Razor...The principle of the obvious answer usually being the correct one...that it's a portal to an 8th dimension parallel universe...'

'Your gun is shooting a little high there, Hank.'

Another dinner party ruined by a poorly thought-out seating arrangement

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

"Legal thinks it looks like Satan, Marketing thinks Batman."

'We think you're old enough to know now, Son -- You, me, your mother... we're all just cartoons in a magazine.'

"It's my resignation in the form of a graphic novel."

'Mr Human Spider? I'm from Health & Safety. May I have a word...?'

Superhero with Acrophobia

'My corns tell me when there's rain about - they get wet!'

They'd think twice about defacing Elliott's Camaro again.

"This sounds like a good movie...a superhero that can really stop robocalls."

Evil Henchman Gets a Promotion.

'My true identity? If I told you, I'd have to kill you.'

"I'm an anti-masker."