Comfy Chair Philosopher Pillows

'If you're not busy....any chance of a coffee ?'

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

"Feel free to take notes."

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

Studies show foods work miracles!

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

"Can you hypnotise me into being in shape?"

The dangerous world of the armchair thinker

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

"And next up, Fairy Tales: FolkLORE or FolkLIES!"

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

"You're overthinking it. Sometimes a belly rub is just a belly rub."

"Well, he looks alive as of 10 minutes ago, but the stream is frozen."

The Three Kinds of People

"Lemme guess: You're struggling with the French press again."

Psychiatrist with bust of Freud

"So that's where you were last night."

'What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical.'

"I don't believe in egrets."

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

Support Group for high heels abandoned during the pandemic

"That's right - 'What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.' You just keep on thinking that..."

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

How to be a Dynamic Over-achiever