Comfy Chair Philosopher T-Shirts

'If you're not busy....any chance of a coffee ?'

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

"Feel free to take notes."

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

Studies show foods work miracles!

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

The dangerous world of the armchair thinker

"Can you hypnotise me into being in shape?"

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

"And next up, Fairy Tales: FolkLORE or FolkLIES!"

"I should've never studied canon law."

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

"You're overthinking it. Sometimes a belly rub is just a belly rub."

"Well, he looks alive as of 10 minutes ago, but the stream is frozen."

The Three Kinds of People

"I don't believe in egrets."

'In this world, son, you've got to learn to push yourself.'

'What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical.'

Psychiatrist with bust of Freud

"Pretty cushy, am I right?"

"Lemme guess: You're struggling with the French press again."

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

"So that's where you were last night."

Support Group for high heels abandoned during the pandemic

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"That's right - 'What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.' You just keep on thinking that..."

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."