Comet Watching T-Shirts

'There goes any chance of us getting our security deposit back.'

Pentagon Science Contest: 'It's a planet-killing comet heading here, and only the military has the resources to secretly evacuate all the V.I.P.s and their families before it hits.'

Waiting For Halley's Comet - Do Not Disturb.

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

The Zoo.

'Well, there's something you don't see every day'

Tourists

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"Now I really hate poetry."

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

M.T. accidentally triggers the predator pursuit response.

"Look, a bug!"

'I don't care if it's hot, I won't go in the water!'

Special offer on snakeskin ties.

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

"Ooh look Derek. A shooting star. Quick make a wish"

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

How about going easy on the carbs

So you're a mocking bird...

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

"Oh, honey, look! Just under that candy bar wrapper, next to the empty Bud Light can and to the left of the plastic bag... a salamander!"

"Yup, pretty sure that was a flying squirrel."

The Dance of the Penguins Once the March Is Over

Monkey Curling Lion's Mane.

He can identify a fly taken by a trout at fifty yards range.

"I think we may be related!"

"This is Blackjack, come in Yahtzee."

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

TSA Noah

"I'd kill for a fresh fruit fritter."

Sign in Lion Enclosure: 'Please Don't Eat the People.'