Comet Connoisseurs Gifts

'Sorry, I already have a Comet!'

The Family Joules: Part 16

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

Men: Hating chick flicks since 1623.

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

At Ireland's oldst and most respected school of dance, Mrs O'Hara made a terrible discovery... (Book entitled 'The book of Irish dancing vol. 2 - How to incorporate the arms')

'Why is it he never understands sit , stay or down, but understands spayed and neutered?'

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

Henrik Ibsen,

The last Passenger Pigeon

Dummies Books.

Fred interpreted the word compact as a verb, not as an adjective.

'There goes any chance of us getting our security deposit back.'

'They call it the people dance.'

A word from James Cameron. . .

Football Game Tickets. These seats are so far from the field we'll need a passport to get to them!

"We're here, Harry."

"Aha. . . the Sphinxter!"

You're Out Of Order

Weinberg's egregious error would damage his reputation forever, His colleagues would thereafter refer to him as 'the big double dipper,

"It's not that we had more fun before we got married --- it's just that now we're having a different kind of fun."

"'Let's introduce him to a mirror' he said. 'It'll be fun he said'. You call the coroner!"

Angels shopping in a store called "Heaven Pharmacy: Self-serve"

Secret Service Dogs

'Just where did you get this satellite tracking system, anyway?'

"You're amazing!"

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

Peniteniary for the terminally silly.

'Sorry guys, I've checked: The Moon is not made of cheese...'

It was brighter than most, and Biggins allowed himself a quiet smile as he contemplated the immense speeds involved as it burned itself up in the atmosphere...

Dinosaur Pet Stores

Produce Fuji Apples. I told you that's not how "fudgey" is spelled.

'He's practicing for his appearance before the congressional committee on torture.'

"This is my 'country house.' I also have a duplex in the city."

Now entering: Space. Population - wouldn't you like to know.