Comet Watcher Gifts

"There's a giant rock coming from the sky, we have to hide!"

'Come on, Larry! You don't have time to make a bucket list!'

"Well, I guess our fifteen minutes is about up."

"Ok, so you weren't invited to the tar put party. . . it's not the end of the world, you know!"

"Just tell him we're taking him someplace dark where he can see the comet."

"Bernard's always prepared for asteroids"

"Delusional scientific elitist..."

"I'm not worried about the Comet, I don't believe in Astrology."

When economists rules the Earth

'Well, there's something you don't see every day'

"What the... mine are lunar eclipse glasses!"

'Slip Ahoy!'

Frank and Ernest Celestial Accountants. How's the audit of the Bankrupt Universe, Inc. going, Ernie? At first I thought it was a personnel problem -- Halley's Comet shows up once every seventy-six years, the supernovas are a bunch of burnouts and of course planet Mercury only works eighty-eight days a year. But the real problem isn't personnel, it's corporate strategy! Strategy? What's wrong? Universe, Inc. thinks it can keep expanding and expanding forever and ever!

'There goes any chance of us getting our security deposit back.'

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

A word from James Cameron. . .

"Great, the end of the world and I'm going to be first on facebook with pictures!!"

"Google Earth must have a defective camera. There's a big red spot above our location."

'Yeah, my dad used to howl at the Moon before, but now he struggles to stay awake past sundown...'

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

'It's just a conspiracy by scientists to get funding.'

How to survive the coming crash.

"He's into binge fetching."

'No, Brian, an asteroid impact would never take us by surprise like it did the dinosaurs because we're highly intelligent and they were very stupid and dull-witted.'

'It looks like our time is up.'

'Well, is there someone with the aptitude to solve this kind of problem who didn't decide to become a hedge fund manager?'

The sudden extinction of prehistoric clowns explained.

CPA. It looks like some of our clients might have tax problems this year. Halley's Comet files a return only once every 75 years. And the black hole seems to be hiding lots of income. Neither Pluto nor Mars can pay what they owe. Pluto's assets are frozen. And Mars isn't called the "Red Planet" for no reason. I think earth might be the only one getting a refund. Of course, it has billions of dependents!

"Nope. Still no intelligent life."

'wow, I can't believe we never noticed that!'

Astronomical observations.

'Sorry, I already have a Comet!'

"A comet rushes towards earth and will wipe us out? These stupid scientists and their scaremongering! If that's true I'll buy you a beer."

Asteroid Trajectory Assessment.

"Move along, people, there's nothing to see here."