Comedy Therapist Gifts

'EVERYTHING in moderation?.. Don't you think that's a bit EXTREME?'

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"What do I do to relieve stress? I meditate, about not working here."

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

'That reminds me of the blind date I had last weekend!'

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

"You're completely screwed up."

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

Roland, the schizophrenic cowboy.

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

"No, I don't think you have 'multiple personality disorder'. In fact, I don't think you have a personality at all."

Computer help.

'...and when the wolves moved house I was adopted by beetles.'

"I'm a glass-half-empty and I'm leaking."

"Tell me why you think people are out to get you."

"How long have I had what problem?"

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

'Lately my business instincts and intuitions have been on opposing sides.'

"My brother is always trying to one-up me. As soon as I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder he said he had tripolar disorder."

Unsmiley face at the psychiatrist...

Woman on psychiatrists couch talking to statue in art museum.

"Siri, are Charlie’s parents to blame for his neurosis?"

I think I have a gilt complex.

"Dr. Livingstone will see you now."

"You'll never be a full participant in your mental health care if you keep saying wacky things."

Dog in therapy.