Comedy Tax Warriors Gifts

Revenue Canada gift shop.

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

Yes, they are all dependants."

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

"I just asked to see his tax returns. It was supposed to be funny."

'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'

"If that income is personal, why do I have to tell you about it"?

'Syllogisms won't do you any good here, Mr Aristotle.'

After thirty years of hard work, Tom was beginning to get a little upset with the ball and chain forced upon him.

'Tax inspector: In. Out. Suicide notes.'

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

IRS, 'You filed your tax return two days late -- Why do you hate America?'

'Sometimes I think it would be more merciful just to enslave them.'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

"Actually we're one of the few businesses that enjoy VAT visits."

Earl was obviously distressed, as he recounted under hypnosis how aliens had abducted him, and had their tax inspectors thoroughly examine his books.

'Historically, the population decline started when the Dodo Government introduced a tax on flying...'

'Funny you should mention that - I happen to be involved in a joint research project with the Department of Agriculture for the express purpose of getting blood from a turnip.'

'There's not much of an incentive after taxes.'

"Stop saying, 'Capital,' Gaines."

'It only made sense for us to finally merge.'

"Do you have any receipts from this this 'alien abduction'?"

Man has his pockets emptied of cash at internal revenue office.

'My records show that you haven't filed a tax return for 17 years!'

American's Funniest Tax Decuctions

Would you like a tissue - they're 24p plus VAT.

'From January to May, I work for the government to pay for my income tax and from May to October to pay for my malpractice insurance.'

'The businessman's lunch is just like the regular lunch, sir, except that it's more heavily taxed.'