Comedy Shows Gifts

'Yes, it's a very interesting show, but we really need to talk about all the time you waste watching it - perhaps during the next commercial break.'

We've seen this one, I remember those slippers! (Man's huge slippers are blocking the screen).

'My uncle?!? I thought he was your uncle!'

'We checked the entire apartment and there's no sign of this 'Rapunzel' lady... Although we did find a suspicious hair. Want me to have forensics check to see if it's a match?'

Doctors are warned to take meticulous notes of all conversations with patients who refuse to accept treatment advice

'Let the nanny do it!'

'It just so happens that I LIKE shows geared to a 12-year-old mentality!'

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

'Yes, it's a foul. But is it a flagrant foul?'

Cheetah watching the 'Fast show'

'It's a whole new twist - a straight-laced detective who does everything by the book.'

Doug never misses the late show.

'At the moment he's watching the programme all the critics' agree is an insult to human intelligence...'

'Unlike you, I never felt loving Lucy was a binding social contract.'

'Dept of non-nanooo technology.'

Down with canned laughter.

Ventriloquism For Beginners.

"The viewers seem to be sated with stupid shows, senseless movies and embarrassing celebs. That's why our black screen has got the best viewing figures!"

Pet Entertainers

"That's him all right... only taller, younger and thinner!"

"I demand a refund...I paid to see a stand up comedian!"

"What you have is what we call Cactunitus. It's when your skin is so dry you start to morph into a cactus."

Television content warning.

"I'm exhausted! I've just binge-watched the entire series of 'Fresh Air and Exercise.'"

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

'Isn't it FUN watching 'Neighbours' together like this, Gilbert dear!'

"I never watched him at eleven-thirty-five and I didn't watch him at ten, and now, once again, I won't be watching him at eleven-thirty-five."

BLEAK PROSPECTS: DOWNSIZING FOR THE NINETIES

Three family members imagine themselves to be cartoons.

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

"Ladies and gentlemen, is there a doctor in the house?!" "Over here!! I watch a TV show called 'House'—the main character is a doctor and his name is 'House'! Is this helpful?!"

"Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

'THAT was weird -- I dreamed I woke up next to Suzanne Pleshette!'

The "staring back at you" channel