Comedy Show Analyst Gifts

Sitcom/Sitcom with laugh track.

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"Amateurs."

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

A knight sent to kill a dragon armed with a fly swatter

'You have an enlarged funny bone.'

It's not a bad planet -- Their talk shows make it seem a lot worse than it is.

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

"And anyway we'd be no good in bed - I've done the math."

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

Non Thought For The Day.

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

"It's tough to get him moving, but once he's going he never stops."

TV and cleaner

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

A skip full of fools.

Hedgehog holding sign saying 'the end is nigh' as man invents the wheel.

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"

This action stuff is okay, but try a romance or comedy next time.

"It was so depressing. When I go to the theatre, I want to be entertained."

Sorry, I thought you said you wanted to see 'Parrot Normal Activity'

"Dad, has there EVER been a time when James Corden was funny..?"

I hope that "golden showers" dossier about Trump is true. That'd be awesome. How so, little buddy? Well, I was always a big fan of the cold war. I loved "Red Dawn" and "War Games" and "James Bond" and all those really cool cold war movies. If it's true that our new president is actually being blackmailed by the Russians, we might finally have a real "Manchurian Candidate." I've calculated that the number of "Twilight Zone" episodes that might still come true has just grown by half a dozen. I hop

"It's supposed to be a comedy, so I've had Steve, here, red-flag the funny parts."

'Cohiba is written on here with a Sharpie.'

"What are they complaining about?... The local content is the audience...

It would be hours before Jack realized that his wife was not being kinky but had, in fact, gone shopping.

My client vigorously denies your charges. He says he has great respect for what makes you special. He knows that you like Amy Winehouse, watching The Office, secondhand clothes. You're reading off my Facebook page. He knows you're on Facebook. You're both off my friends list.

" ... and markets closed lower today on news that markets would close lower today."

Movie Rated 'R' - Audience Rates 'X'.

"Gracie, don't worry so much about your big test... You know, when I was your age, I didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'. Until I looked it up."

The day that William Tell bought his first crossbow.

'I'm sorry, you just missed him. Call back in from 5 to 10 years.'