Comedy Scene Savorer Gifts

I need a sample of your DNA. Bug off, greed ball. Someone stole a pastry. I have a right to police my own cafe. Oh, fine. Here's some DNA. Splat! Nice aim. This does not happen on CSI!!

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

University Soapflakes

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

London GPs could become an endangered species.

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

Alberich steals the gold

Lion Tamers School - Lion licking his lips examiner marking a fail

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

Dr. Strangelove, D.D.S.

'Jimmie,it's not nice to call someone a bigmouth.'

Euthanasia Clinic

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

Conclave.

"Just wait until your nanny gets here."

NEW FALL LINEUP

'He stubbed-my-toe yell sounds a lot like his chest-pounding victory yell.'

"It's just a wild guess but I suspect that the 14 points apply done at six countries may have contributed to your feeling a 'bit unwell'."

'They only keep him in the team because of his famous WAG!'

'Don't think my knees can take much more of this Santa's grotto job...'

The good news is that you've cured me of my pornography addiction � The bad news is that now I'm addicted to Rorschach ink blots.

'Dinner!'

"That is six feet."

Tragic bug trap movie.

'You cant take him anywhere since his ex told him he had B.O.'

'We were playing Twister at a party. . . there was a loud popping noise.'

'That's the last straw, mister.'

'Norm! There is something on TV I want you to see.'

"I told you he wasn't dead."

Sadie hated Sunday lunchtimes.

Leo and Florence Wolfe play medication commercial BINGO during the nightly news.

Loud Quitting

"You need to get over yourself Steve. We're all emperor penguins!"

Four Seasons Total Landscaping