Comedy Nostalgist Gifts

'Your problem is that you're a Johnny Carson guy in a Jay Leno world.'

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

'...tonights main feature is silent and in black and white.'

"It's a sad state of affairs when Lever House begins to seem like a warm old friend."

If you give a mouse a french cookie

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. X.

'I didn't know people still played footsie.'

'It's really nothing - Looks like baby boomer age spots.'

'I don't know, son, if Cain and Abel watched Mr. Rogers. I just know they didn't have any neighbors.'

'Well, we agree on one thing -- I wish you'd married Doris Day, too!'

"Your room is exactly as you left it."

"Honey! Remember when we first met and you used to nibble my ear?"

'My 70th...hmmm.. that's shelter, food and sex out of the way. I guess it's time to move on to life's next challenge; mastery over my environment.'

"They don't play Mummies and Daddies these days-now its Wife Swappies!"

'Dad, is it true that before we had hard drive crashes, the dog used to eat your homework?'

'Rorschach multiple-choice test'

Baby boomers anthem.

'I've gone from watching movies in Cinemascope to a smart phone...and they call this progress?'

Another Timmy Pet Fail!

ARISTOTLE WITH A BUST OF HOMER:

'He flunked everything except 'Self-Esteem.''

'Before you look at that, you should know I found an old report card of yours in the attic.'

'Remember when Christmas came after hallowe'en?'

"Since he retired he misses his meetings."

'The picture's snowy.'

'Fred and Wilma live in a house.'

'Al was competitive to the end!'

"It was a double ring ceremony. Both our phones rang."

'Which tape shall we watch, the wedding or the honeymoon?'

Victorian mother and daughter.

'I can still remember the good old days when I used to go through your pockets!'

Red Indians patiently waiting for what they think is television to be switched on, on an American locomotive.

"Home school class reunion"

'Replaced by analytical software. I should have seen it coming.'