Comedy Night Regular Gifts

Sit Down Comedy Night: 'Did you hear the one about...?'

"Anyone In from Chernobyl?"

Occu-Pie Mars

Zombie standup

They're Not Just That Into It

Stand-up Romcom

If you hold the conch up to your ear, you can hear the ocean swearing at you.

'Take my advice kid. Enjoy yourself now, because once you get married, your free ranging days are over.'

America's funniest election gaffes

A likely story - lost his waterskis in a poker game !

'I'm SECRET Santa, kid.'

I'm a paralegal, it's like a flying doctor, only it's about law.

'Very funny!'

Comedian faces audience of clowns: 'Ooh, tough crowd.'

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

'If you're going to marry this geek, I suggest you get the extended warranty.'

'Where my balls go?'

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

The Porkypine Pals - Moon Business

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

Off Off Off Off Broadway

'Isn't this cast great? Dr. Emily's minor was sculpture in college!'

Woody Allen

"Morning, sir. We've received reports that you've been wielding an inappropriate attitude without a permit."

When Stupid People Get an Idea

Bob Odenkirk

"Ok, ok, how's everyone feeling tonight besides a thousand dollars poorer?"

"I see you attending a family reunion, where things get quite heated."

Football Delivery

Frank and Ernie's Classic Cars. '40s - '50s - '60s. Hi! Do you have any cars with fins in the back? Sorry, sir, nothing with Fins in the back -- but there are a couple with Norwegians in the trunk!

"We think we've found the murder weapon Sir"

"And for all of us here at the six-o'clock news—and don't forget we'll be appearing Saturday night at Mr. Fun—make it a good one!"

'Mr. Whipple, what other qualifications do you have - apart from your quite excellent Donald Duck impression?'

An early turning-point in old Hollywood...

"Mind if I read a little?"