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The Rantoone - Inventions

'Gas, food, and lodging mirages- next mile.'

Iran bars two UN nuclear inspectors for 'untruthful reporting'

'In the interest of spending more time with my children, I've put Bobby and Emily in charge of corporate strategy.'

'Welcome to digital - you now have more of what you didn't want than you ever thought possible!'

"We don't like the same marriage counselor gags anymore."

Watching TV around the world

STRIP "Looks like the escalators on the blink again"

'Time ou! ... Flea!'

'I think we floated a little 'too far' down stream.'

Let's throw it agianst the wall and see what sticks, inc

Quick Sand and Slow Sand

"Oh, sure, Mr. Nice Guy robot, bringing in the pastries...we get fat and you just sit there, charging your batteries!"

'He arrested two kids yesterday. One for drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. He charged one and let the other off!'

'Have you done any stand-up?'

Hijinks of the Colonial Era

Man caught in fishing lines

'Good day on Wall Street?'

'I gave the Captain a thousand bucks to strand us on an uninhabited island with nothing but a musket.'

"I'm creating a web cartoon...but to be edgy, I'm making my characters really offensive."

'What a beautiful landscape!'

"What have I told you about shoplifting, son!"

'Poor Oog -- evolution sure has AGED him!'

"Oh, look - a Halloweiner dog!"

"I showed Tia Carmen these really funny cartoons I drew...but she didn't laugh."

'Wait! -- We'll never develop a meaningful relationship if you keep knocking me unconscious!'

'You've never heard of 'prop wash'?'

Top South African soap: Neighboers.

'He's got it made, Derek - I know men who'd pay good money to get trampled on all over like that!'

Thief on Royal Mail train - "Hi - I'm on the gravy train."

'I suggest we try somewhere else.'