Comedy Evolutionist Gifts

"We're following Carrot Top."

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

'But Honey, if we have kids, we won't be endangered anymore: We will lose all the social benefits and attention...'

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

'Sorry - The position has already been filled."

Ecotourism.

Climate Conference. I'm glad you enjoyed my speech, but please don't call it the "high-water mark."

'Catch a pair of chimps and do a complete makeover on them.'

"Brilliant! And then all they have to do is stop them flying at night."

"Actually, they all look alike to me."

'So there's global warming. What possible harm could it do?'

'I'd say that our transport policy couldn't get any greener'

"It doesn't make me feel sexy, it makes me cross-eyed!"

Will work for manure.

"Hide? What do you mean hide? We are literally camouflage and they still eat us!"

Just think! If the mall goes bust, what happens to all that paved-over land? Save our mall. We could roll up the asphalt and start a huge nature preserve. What about current wildlife? Hmm�You're right. I don't think the endangered species act covers mall rats.

'I don't like to complain, but I'm getting a little tired of crudités.'

'It's a very common plant on earth.'

'Is the fire included?'

'Ha, ha! -- Neanderthals can't jump!'

The evolution of triathletes.

"There's no such thing as a vegan flytrap."

'What kind of mileage do you get?'

"As part of the new environmental policy management want us to introduce a paperless office, and this is how they want us to do it."

'How can anyone say our factory isn't green? Most of our waste is that colour!'

"That's my Son, Denny - He evolved into a doctor."

Tofurkey.

'If it'll make you any happier, we're biodegradable, too.'

"I used to be a hunter and gatherer. But since retirement I'm mostly a drinker."

That's as far as the Sunfish got.

Evolution of the Cow

Carbon Trading

Trash Recycle Pretend to Recycle

"Yeah...he's my brother. I inherited the cool genes!"