Comedy Court Attendee Gifts

"Objection!"

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

Gary turns 40.

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

No caption

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

'Honest, sir. I'm sorry! I take it all back.'

"The court granted me a new identity!"

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

'Might I caution you on suing the defendant for damages...such action is fraught with difficulty, given your 'hand-me-down' status in his family!!'

'Oh, objection, objection, objection - what is it this time, Counselor?'

"I'm innocent. I've just never been able to pass up a good plea bargain."

Baby's first words.

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

"I didn't consider it hacking. I thought of it as getting a sneak preview of their content."

'Let's agree to disagree.'

'Your honor, my client would like to change his plea to 'not guilty, but not exactly innocent either'!'

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'

"Let's take in a trial."

"In my client's defence, the label on the bottle clearly read, 'rat poison'...not 'people poison'."

'Oh sure, Your Honor, he can speak. He's using sign language ...

'Judge Mental.'

"Wait a minute! This is a copy of 'TV Guide.' "

'Either it's a mistake, or this town's gone soft on crime.'

"Love is grand... divorce is a hundred grand."