Comedy Comrades Gifts

"Bailey! What part of 'never jump on the Stickley' don't you understand?!"

Playing Fetch.

Zombie standup

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

Stand-up Romcom

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

I'm a paralegal, it's like a flying doctor, only it's about law.

Hypnotoon

Comedian faces audience of clowns: 'Ooh, tough crowd.'

'Let me get this clear. You want me to give you paternity leave before the baby is born.'

Death Beggar

"Hey. We’re in the doghouse every night. That’s the beauty of it."

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

'If you're going to marry this geek, I suggest you get the extended warranty.'

"Uh-oh. The so-called marriage penalty."

"Tia Carmen, I think I'm growing up. I ate five slices of cold pizza at 3 in the morning...and I woke up with a stomachache."

"I followed the money and it led me to Edgar."

'These are my 'golfing socks'... there's a hole in one!'

"And for all of us here at the six-o'clock news—and don't forget we'll be appearing Saturday night at Mr. Fun—make it a good one!"

When Stupid People Get an Idea

"I see you attending a family reunion, where things get quite heated."

'... and in a startling development, 5 Supreme Court decisions were overturned by Judge Judy...'

"Listen, and I'll explain it to you again..."

Monet At Open Mic Night

"It's not you. It's pea."

'Don't start an argument - you know how you hate intravenous feeding.'

"I want to report a race crime.'

Polly Clinic.

Freddy Starr died here.

The chefs were helping local actors who were tired of having short roles... by giving them a long loaf!

'Nothing doing folks, except ? surprise, surprise ? here's another for you, Desert Island Bloke.'