Comedy Comrades Gifts

"Bailey! What part of 'never jump on the Stickley' don't you understand?!"

Playing Fetch.

Zombie standup

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

Stand-up Romcom

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

If you hold the conch up to your ear, you can hear the ocean swearing at you.

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

I thought I was proposing to Sally, but evidently I was challenging her to a twenty year series of debates.

I'm a paralegal, it's like a flying doctor, only it's about law.

Comedian faces audience of clowns: 'Ooh, tough crowd.'

Hypnotoon

'If you're going to marry this geek, I suggest you get the extended warranty.'

"Hey. We’re in the doghouse every night. That’s the beauty of it."

'Let me get this clear. You want me to give you paternity leave before the baby is born.'

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

Death Beggar

"Uh-oh. The so-called marriage penalty."

"I see you attending a family reunion, where things get quite heated."

Bob Odenkirk

"Tia Carmen, I think I'm growing up. I ate five slices of cold pizza at 3 in the morning...and I woke up with a stomachache."

'These are my 'golfing socks'... there's a hole in one!'

When Stupid People Get an Idea

"I followed the money and it led me to Edgar."

"And for all of us here at the six-o'clock news—and don't forget we'll be appearing Saturday night at Mr. Fun—make it a good one!"

'... and in a startling development, 5 Supreme Court decisions were overturned by Judge Judy...'

"Listen, and I'll explain it to you again..."

'Don't start an argument - you know how you hate intravenous feeding.'

The chefs were helping local actors who were tired of having short roles... by giving them a long loaf!

"It's not you. It's pea."

Freddy Starr died here.

"I want to report a race crime.'

Polly Clinic.

Monet At Open Mic Night