Comedy Clashing Gifts

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

Watch overhead if you want to improve product delivery. Bridge financing could figure.

"My mind is still on vacation."

"I remember when this was all forest..."

"I'll call you back. I'm in a meeting."

'Not too serious just a couple of particles collided.'

"Sometimes I think you guys don't want peace."

Opera Pickleball

"Earthlings are funny! They have three heads, two of them wearing hoods!"

Vikings cannot pillage the U.S. Oil Biz

"There was no large metal object in your rib cage after all. Turns out I was just seeing this old-timey doctor thing on my forehead."

'Tell you chief there's been a terrible mistake, I'm a Friar.'

'Oh well, I had to take it in to get the oil changed anyway.'

'The opera cards come in a p.o.p display. Can we mve the beef jerky down a smidge?'

'I think he's spent too much time in the city.'

'When he said he loved going to Wendy's, I just assumed fast food...'

'Sunnyside down.'

"Stereo! That spells trouble - another all night rave!"

"His coffee's always crap for about a week after the MacArthur genius-grant winners are announced."

Passive-aggressive street signs

'After this event, I want him tested. Blood, urine, DNA - the works. Look for anything unusual.'

'This your first time smelt fishing?'

Argentea Vulgaris

"Ready!... Aim!..." Democrats

'Have you been complaining to the baker about leaving the bread outside?'

Cupid's ASBOw.

'Norman, I think things are going to turn nasty!'