Comedic Tension Seeker T-Shirts

'Pay no attention to him. He's just a disgruntled former employee.'

'Do you have something in mind?'

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

"Who's got the hammer?"

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

Man with fishing line going into water. Fishing line coming down from sky.

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

Breast Height Chart

Only then, did Medusa realise her mistake.

'Just remember, he's bigger, but you're funnier. As soon as he starts laughing, you've got him!'

'The guys say that the stripper won't be available before our wedding...would you mind if I had my bachelor party after the honeymoon?'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

Isn't there something about this in th Geneva Convention

'I used to trade in futures until I learned the planet doesn't have one.'

Biological Alarm Clock.

"Haven't you a small one that would fit into a soldier's pack?"

"If you'll excuse me fellas. I have to see a man about a dog. Specifically-this dog."

'Alright, alright. I had a hard day fighting crime. No need to get smart about it.'

'Cool it with the herbal shampoo -- you've got aphids.'

Cat doctor to cat patient sitting on exam table 'All I'm saying is liposuction won't help if you don't lay off the tuna smoothies.'

"Call me a hopeless romantic, but I assumed he was just inviting me."

'That time of year, eh Ben, don't know whether to go hunting or fishing?'

When psychiatry works too well!

"When I said the surgery was minimally invasive I wasn't talking about your finances."

'Will you tell the dog I live here!'

Pirate Paddle Boat.

A man walking a bowling ball is about to walk into a woman walking a bunch of bowling pins

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

How cats see their home

'Do you have an appointment?'

"You keep him busy while I go for help."