Comedic Tension Enthusiast T-Shirts

The Adventures of Morton: Is this all there is to an eighty-three-dollar and forty-cent evening, Lord?

Wedding Day Itinerary.

Trumpeter swan meets trombone swan.

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

'Pay no attention to him. He's just a disgruntled former employee.'

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

"You heading south again this summer?"

'Evil Olive'- An evil olive has taken out his co-workers with cocktail swords.

Man and Women in a Boxing Ring

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

"Any other educational qualifications besides Trump university?"

'Yeah, Kirby, it hurts like hell, but dang if I can't stop wigglin' it.'

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

"It's your husband from beyond. He says stop trying to 'Google' him."

The evolution of triathletes.

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

No, thank you, I brought my own bag.

'So, what have we learnt here? We do not have knife fights on the bouncy castle!'

Blower wars.

"When you said you were getting a pet to help you through the lockdown, I thought you meant a cat."

No caption (A ball boy crouches by the net on a ping pong table as a game is being played).

'He's so unlucky that he gets into accidents that started happening to someone else.'

Eskimo in Igloo

"Baldo, this is Humberto...he moved to the United States last month?"

'He doesn't like to be called an Optometrist. He prefers the title 'Visionary'!'

Go on! It'll be funny!

"What makes you think I'm pregnant?"

'This is what happens when you try to blow out that many candles.'

'It's for you.'

Hmmm, this reminds me...your mother called last night.

'...and finally I'd just like to thank my plastic surgeon for giving me these puppies.'

"Also, this apartment comes with easy access to the stray cats in the alley."