Tense Enthusiast T-Shirts

Cans of peas.

Soldier armed with a pen.

The devil you know and his plus one

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

''Raining cats and dogs' is just a phrase, Alix.'

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

'Mind you don't wake the baby.'

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

Filling the Missile Gap

The Devil's in the detail!

Freedom of the press

Nothing to say! Wouldn't wanna hear about it anyway!

'Here's the good news. 'Happy camper' and 'are we having fun yet' have been added to the official list of banned cliches.'

An acceptable level of TV violence.

"I still have my loophole, but I can't drive a truck through it."

'I think you've put that in the wrong place.'

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

The Real Russian history

X-RAY

Censorship.

"The first rule of miming is you don't talk about miming."

'No, no....You have it all wrong!'

"Well...I notice a little criticism on my leadership style..."

'Your dad wouldn't let you borrow the car tonight?'

Cartoon Editor: No, No, No, No, No, No, Maybe.

'It's a demonstration by people who disapprove of what you say but will defend to the death your right to say it.'

'I didn't choose art. Art chose me!'

Censorship is killing free society.

Bad Career Move

Please enter "my way" or "the highway." Tough guy GPS.

"Finally...it's here! Only the best $20 I've ever spent!"

Rubbish, Poppycock, Balderdash

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

'Too many cliches? Now hold your horses!'

'The fact that you like Tang really doesn't qualify you to be an astronaut.'