Comedic Tension Enthusiast Gifts

The Adventures of Morton: Is this all there is to an eighty-three-dollar and forty-cent evening, Lord?

Wedding Day Itinerary.

Trumpeter swan meets trombone swan.

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

'Pay no attention to him. He's just a disgruntled former employee.'

"You heading south again this summer?"

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

'Evil Olive'- An evil olive has taken out his co-workers with cocktail swords.

Man and Women in a Boxing Ring

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

'Yeah, Kirby, it hurts like hell, but dang if I can't stop wigglin' it.'

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

'So, what have we learnt here? We do not have knife fights on the bouncy castle!'

"When you said you were getting a pet to help you through the lockdown, I thought you meant a cat."

'He's so unlucky that he gets into accidents that started happening to someone else.'

Blower wars.

Eskimo in Igloo

"What makes you think I'm pregnant?"

"Also, this apartment comes with easy access to the stray cats in the alley."

'It's for you.'

'He doesn't like to be called an Optometrist. He prefers the title 'Visionary'!'

Hmmm, this reminds me...your mother called last night.

Cat in bandages.