Comedic Tension Devotee Pillows

'Your explanation for all these business dinners with my wife better be good!'

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"Now you've seen the bust how about letting me see Naples?"

Trumpeter swan meets trombone swan.

Dorothy, the lion, and the scarecrow, are suddenly confronted by the tin man of Oz.

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

"And last week I nearly crashed while reading on the freeway..."

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

Loggerheads

'Pay no attention to him. He's just a disgruntled former employee.'

Animal Olympics: 'What do you say next year we have some non-cheetah races?'

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

"You heading south again this summer?"

'I'm all talked out. Let's look into some gene therapy.'

'I like your spirit - nine out of ten people would admit roller-disco wasn't for them!'

Man and Women in a Boxing Ring

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

'...I really wish you would of told me you wanted to be a ballerina before we got married.'

"Good Dad, Bad Dad"

'Yeah, Kirby, it hurts like hell, but dang if I can't stop wigglin' it.'

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

'He's so unlucky that he gets into accidents that started happening to someone else.'

'So, what have we learnt here? We do not have knife fights on the bouncy castle!'

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

Blower wars.

"When you said you were getting a pet to help you through the lockdown, I thought you meant a cat."

Eskimo in Igloo

Hmmm, this reminds me...your mother called last night.

"Also, this apartment comes with easy access to the stray cats in the alley."