Comedic Style Guru Gifts

'How come you like your nose underlined?'

Wedding Day Itinerary.

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

I like this one. Do you have it in blue?

Visual Gag: An about to be married Bride using a real train as a wedding gown train

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

'You must have one arm shorter than the other.'

'Ick! -- I'd never vote for anybody with hair like THAT!'

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

'Sounds like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.'

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

Jumble Sale

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

"You heading south again this summer?"

"I've designed the logo for your new social media app. It's a dirty laundry basket."

Jeff makes some nice jugs.

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

"Complaining empowers us."

"Now, be honest. Do these glasses make me look ridiculous?"

"I understand she's marrying him for his condominium in Fort Lauderdale."

Fisherman Funneral

Rollercoaster police chase.

'I don't mind you buying the camouflage suit at the mall, but did you have to wear it home.?

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

Heaven on the Phone to Hell - 'We've got Sky.'

'Elections are easier to understand if you think of them as performance art.'

"Connect the dots"

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

"Actually, you don't have a pinched nerve...your underwear is too tight!"

"You can't beat Channel 5's sport coverage."