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'Okay guys, paper already beat these guys, and we beat paper last week. . .'

Men playing water football in barrels on a lake

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

'Best save I've ever seen.'

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

"I run around this high school track every morning."

Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you, brother? My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony. But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike? Of course. That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all. Exactly ... Wait, what do you mean by that?

Golf Hole at bottom of lake.

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

"We would have won if it hadn't been for the other team."

The Cricketer and the Golfer

'Five seconds! ...Four ...Three ...Two ...One ...SPRING!!'

'This game is going to be a character-building experience.'

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

'Focus! Focus! You've just gotta' forget about their home ground advantage.

Pole jumper about to land on a giant whoopi cushion.

'Things haven't been the same since the alien abduction.'

T-Rex Racing: A Short-Lived Sport

"Anyone else would have ship wrecked us on a south seas island."

Golf escape.

"Twenty seven shots, first hole. I think we'll call that a dodo."

Boxers vs. Briefs

Foam finger gets stuck up a foam nose.

No wonder kickboxing seems so hard.

'Relax, teamwork always leads to a slam dunk.'

Jeff was watching his weight.

'Wanna play? We need another body... er... one more player.'

"I feel like I play better on clay."

"Kill the third base umpire."

"I'm looking for a GPS with Morgan Freeman's voice. Maybe my husband will listen to it."

"Sweetie, I know we missed Princesses on Ice, but I'm going to make it up to you."

'While Dewey distracts the defense, the quarterback simply jogs into the end zone untouched.'