Comedic Romantic Gifts

Castaway Romances

"Is that a bribe?"

"Talk nerdy to me."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

Stand-up Romcom

"Call me?"

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

Robocop and Juliet.

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

Sexual chemistry set

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"April Fools'! You should’ve seen the look on your face!"

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

Dog in love

Funnel of Love

"Ugh, we get it - you're in love."

"So you kiss me and I turn into a prince? No thanks, sweetie, I'm gay. I'm already a queen."

"Do you want to suddenly decide we need a waffle maker?"

Harv's general clumsiness with prepositions comes back to haunt him.

Diving Cat.

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

Their relationship was doomed to fail. She was frigid, and his arms were too short to rub one out.

'I want to finish with him, but I'll have to wait until he's made the final payment on my engagement ring.'

"Thanks for calling it skinnydipping."

"That whole, 'fast than a speeding bullet' think suddenly makes sense!"

"Push harder - I still can't see the scale."

'How much would you take off for cash?'

'Shuck me.'

'Do you Duane, paternity suit notwithstanding, take Diane...'

Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you, brother? My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony. But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike? Of course. That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all. Exactly ... Wait, what do you mean by that?

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

Jewellers - "If you really love your wife to be, then money should be no object."