Comedic Rescues Gifts

"Thank goodness, I'm saved! I've been floating out here lost in the middle of the pool for hours."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

"Who's got the hammer?"

Man with fishing line going into water. Fishing line coming down from sky.

'Let go of that balloon right now!'

Breast Height Chart

Beer $.50. I've had lot of psychological therapy, but none of it seems to help. Maybe you

Only then, did Medusa realise her mistake.

'The guys say that the stripper won't be available before our wedding...would you mind if I had my bachelor party after the honeymoon?'

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

'They're right.polorized sunglasses do help you see better underwater.'

'Just remember, he's bigger, but you're funnier. As soon as he starts laughing, you've got him!'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!

'He's trying to talk them into giving themselves up!'

"Haven't you a small one that would fit into a soldier's pack?"

Biological Alarm Clock.

'I used to trade in futures until I learned the planet doesn't have one.'

"It's only until the gas prices go down and I can afford to drive the car again. Maybe you should have an ambulance follow me."

'Alright, alright. I had a hard day fighting crime. No need to get smart about it.'

'Cool it with the herbal shampoo -- you've got aphids.'

"If you'll excuse me fellas. I have to see a man about a dog. Specifically-this dog."

Homing Pigeon GPS Manfunction

"Our records show that you unsubscribed to our company's e-newsletter. We need to have a little talk."

"Wait! It gets even crazier!"

"Whisky? Have you got anything stronger?"

Cat doctor to cat patient sitting on exam table 'All I'm saying is liposuction won't help if you don't lay off the tuna smoothies.'

'The pain in my head always seems to subside when I flush your bills down the toilet!'

'... and then he slammed the door in my face...'

'Will you tell the dog I live here!'

Pirate Paddle Boat.

"I guess I'll never understand women."

Sweet Jailbreak

"You keep him busy while I go for help."

'It's your lucky day. I just went vegan.'