Comedic Rescues Gifts

"Thank goodness, I'm saved! I've been floating out here lost in the middle of the pool for hours."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

"Who's got the hammer?"

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

Man with fishing line going into water. Fishing line coming down from sky.

'Let go of that balloon right now!'

Breast Height Chart

Only then, did Medusa realise her mistake.

'They're right.polorized sunglasses do help you see better underwater.'

'The guys say that the stripper won't be available before our wedding...would you mind if I had my bachelor party after the honeymoon?'

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!

'Just remember, he's bigger, but you're funnier. As soon as he starts laughing, you've got him!'

'He's trying to talk them into giving themselves up!'

Biological Alarm Clock.

'I used to trade in futures until I learned the planet doesn't have one.'

"Haven't you a small one that would fit into a soldier's pack?"

"It's only until the gas prices go down and I can afford to drive the car again. Maybe you should have an ambulance follow me."

"If you'll excuse me fellas. I have to see a man about a dog. Specifically-this dog."

'Cool it with the herbal shampoo -- you've got aphids.'

'Alright, alright. I had a hard day fighting crime. No need to get smart about it.'

Homing Pigeon GPS Manfunction

"Wait! It gets even crazier!"

'The pain in my head always seems to subside when I flush your bills down the toilet!'

Cat doctor to cat patient sitting on exam table 'All I'm saying is liposuction won't help if you don't lay off the tuna smoothies.'

"Whisky? Have you got anything stronger?"

'Will you tell the dog I live here!'

Pirate Paddle Boat.

Sweet Jailbreak

"I guess I'll never understand women."

"You keep him busy while I go for help."

'It's your lucky day. I just went vegan.'

"That's it - we've eaten the last of the energy bills."