Comedic Pet Capers Pillows

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

"Why can't you just dig things up like normal dogs?"

"I have a couple of other projects I'm excited about."

Man wearing a dog cone

'Sorry. Your accident insurance doesn't cover that kind of incident.'

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

Santa Claws...

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

RING! RING! RING!: 'Not the cell phone AGAIN!'

Cookie Thief

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

'The veterinarian made brushing his teeth sound so easy.'

'You look lovely, but we need to lengthen your train a bit...'

"Pet peeves" "I fear the cat." "I fear the cat" "I fear the cat." "Fecced me."

"I want you to be open and honest and to not leave any hair on the couch."

'Pointless Pets: A ceramic tiled giraffe.'

' Emergency Pet Hospital? My Basset Hound got into my husband's Viagara...'

'Not me...I'm watching my cholesterol!'

Bad Dog!

Ice Cream Lover

'There's no evidence use of steroids will improve dog show performance.'

'You think one is tough, try raising two!'

'Holy S**t!'

'Clown fish ... '

"We're in for the night."

"My owner's been teaching me how to beg. . . I've made £30 today!"

"We keep getting billed from DoorDash. Who here has been ordering all this food?"

Although Bowser did seem to understand the concept of being house-trained.....

'I sent Ben to fly fishing school, now he's a menace to the whole stream!'

"It's finally fur coat weather."

'He's a nice guy, but he doesn't bite, if you know what I mean.'

'Uh-Oh! There goes the neighborhood.'

"Sure I did it out of spite, but I want to make it look like an accident."

Why dogs never attend baseball games.

'It's just not fair! Now that he's joined the gym, he's too tired to go on walks with me...'