Comedic Party Host T-Shirts

"Fruit salad? Count me in!"

'Ron's not drunk - he's pouting because we won't play Pictionary.'

"Harold insists on doing all his own stunts."

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

Visual Gag: An about to be married Bride using a real train as a wedding gown train

Cut out and keep your own DJ.

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

Dance of the sugar plum tax attorneys.

"We're not laughing at you, sweetie. We're laughing at something you don't understand."

Double Saxophone

Mini Bar

"Good luck, Sanders. We're sure going to miss that little imitation you do of me at office parties."

'... So I said to Dave; 'You're not going to wear that baggy old thing are you?' But, he decided to come nude anyway.'

No Instruments Please

"Son, I've asked Mr. Puffer to instruct you on the finer points of classical as your new tooter."

'Who took the cork out of my lunch?'

'He's been shot!'

Acupuncturist Society Cocktail Party - 'For heaven's sake, Brian, it's only a pineapple chunk!'

Jumble Sale

"Tia Carmen, I think I'm growing up. I ate five slices of cold pizza at 3 in the morning...and I woke up with a stomachache."

'It wasn't the strength of your argument. It was your breath.'

'Hello, my name is Death'

'Hey babe, I got two tickets to the gun show, you interested?'

A Good Year.

Please Leave by 9

Jeff makes some nice jugs.

'Stick the oven on dear, I picked something up on the way home.'

'Dear, of course no one can tell you what they think of the wine, you haven't told them how much it cost yet.'

'This is the worst wine I've ever tasted--I'll take 20 cases.'

"Fetus?"

Rollercoaster police chase.

"Harold is demonstrating his string theory!"

'Notice the quintessential taste of Tuscany in this impressive little vintner we picked up on our last trip to Italy.'

"Just once, can we not talk about politics."