Comedic Mastermind T-Shirts

'Three iron.'

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

"Gabe's in the Guitar Hero program at Juilliard."

Candid Camera store.

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

'It's some more story ideas from Francis Bacon.'

'Let's call him lucky!'

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

Thumbing a Lift.

"Do you think Trump has read 'Contemporary Relativism and the Death of Meaning'?"

Man walking a long dog on a fishing rod.

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

"Extra large sanitary pads and extra small ones, pads for the night..."

Implement operation 'KILL ALL PLUMBERS'!

"Mum can you come home quick, dad's started to make an exhibition of himself again!"

"Since when isn’t a taxidermied animal a comfort pet?" "Since forever!" "Dang it!"

"All my stuff is 'Rosebud'."

X-RAY

"It's such a nice day. Why don't you go outside and plagiarize something?"

'I couldn't practice last night on account of my Dad's head was gonna' explode.'

"Mmm, processed food. Just like mom used to microwave."

"I've decided to have a kid."

"See - that's how he's able to write all those plays."

Smart 3 Piece Suite.

'Our financial troubles are over, Edna. The fellas and I have formed a boy band.'

'Done! We're now on Santa's 'nice' list.'

"I'll explain later."

"Hey Neil, I've got an idea - let's really freak everyone out and tell them you're quitting physics to become my new co-Pope."

STRIP Hambone: Betting on horse racing with the company payroll

"Danger Noodle hath eat-fatht-room-for-dethert thuper powerth!"