Comedic Law Enforcer Pillows

'Slight problem - we didn't make the knife screening arch wide enough!'

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

Next camera crew 5 mins

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

"Do you know why I pulled you over? Do you? Do you? Yes, you do."

"I wouldn't want to be in your shoes."

'This is a phone poll! Are you in favor of a ban to drive and use a cell phone at the same time?'

Pinata Crime Scene Investigation.

"Yeah, well, you sure don't drive like a slow loris."

'I hate frisking magicians!'

"I've only had eighteen pints and can drive perfectly well osifer...why don't you go and arrest some real criminals?!"

"Is that your resting witch or resting bitch face. . .?"

'We would like you to accompany us to the station, sir!'

'If it weren't for baseball, this whole thing could have ended much differently.'

"I'm giving you a fine for illegal parking. I don't care if this is a traffic jam."

'I'm sorry, Mum. But, if I let you off, I'll have to let everyone's mum off.'

'...A vehicle clocked at more than 1,800 miles per hour!'

'They got me for 'hate-texting.''

Drunk police officer

Boy caught by a policeman

'I said to recite the alphabet. You may not google it!'

"Confound it! "Shoot first and ask questions later" doesn't apply to the interrogation room!"

Policeman receiving an award of a truncheon

I can assure everyone that this city is totally committed to apprehending the pants bandit!"

'I used to love this job. You could get away with anything.'

"But on the other hand..."

'You must be new on the force.'

'We've searched the whole house, and there's still no sign of the evidence. To be honest, I'm starting to think we've got the wrong guy.'

Police appeal for information whilst thugs appeal for silence.

'Hey! Knock it off, will ya?'

"Me? Keeping winning scratch cards? Never!! Champagne officer?"

"Number three. Take off the hat and sunglasses."

'Could we pay you the parking fine? We've got to go out of town.'

'You can only come in if you've been CRB checked.'

"The reason I can't show you my licence is because you took it away from me yesterday!"