Comedic Law Enforcer Pillows

'Slight problem - we didn't make the knife screening arch wide enough!'

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

Next camera crew 5 mins

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

"Do you know why I pulled you over? Do you? Do you? Yes, you do."

"I wouldn't want to be in your shoes."

Pinata Crime Scene Investigation.

'This is a phone poll! Are you in favor of a ban to drive and use a cell phone at the same time?'

'I hate frisking magicians!'

"I've only had eighteen pints and can drive perfectly well osifer...why don't you go and arrest some real criminals?!"

"Yeah, well, you sure don't drive like a slow loris."

"Is that your resting witch or resting bitch face. . .?"

'If it weren't for baseball, this whole thing could have ended much differently.'

'We would like you to accompany us to the station, sir!'

"I'm giving you a fine for illegal parking. I don't care if this is a traffic jam."

'I'm sorry, Mum. But, if I let you off, I'll have to let everyone's mum off.'

'...A vehicle clocked at more than 1,800 miles per hour!'

Drunk police officer

Policeman receiving an award of a truncheon

Boy caught by a policeman

'They got me for 'hate-texting.''

"Confound it! "Shoot first and ask questions later" doesn't apply to the interrogation room!"

'You must be new on the force.'

'Could we pay you the parking fine? We've got to go out of town.'

"Number three. Take off the hat and sunglasses."

Police appeal for information whilst thugs appeal for silence.

'We've searched the whole house, and there's still no sign of the evidence. To be honest, I'm starting to think we've got the wrong guy.'

"But on the other hand..."

"Me? Keeping winning scratch cards? Never!! Champagne officer?"

'You can only come in if you've been CRB checked.'

"The reason I can't show you my licence is because you took it away from me yesterday!"

"Got any I.D.?"