Comedic Cop Pillows

"I decided to ticket you 'cause I'm bored again."

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

'You're an inspector now?'

Pinata Crime Scene Investigation.

'At least the bigger prop gives us more thrust.'

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

"No, I said, 'You turn here, not, 'U-Turn here'."

"We're all metric now..."

Containment Cops

The few moments delay was the downfall of 'The Cat'.

'Tonight the remains of Jimmy Hoffa have finally been discovered with what appears to be millions upon millions of unpaired socks.'

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

Police Academy - Remedial Reading of Rights

'If it weren't for baseball, this whole thing could have ended much differently.'

"I wasn't texting while driving. I was driving while texting."

Golf Crime Scene.

'We would like you to accompany us to the station, sir!'

'So how do you like the new job?' - 'Not bad, better than walking the streets.'

'Hike the Alps? I'm getting out of breath just keeping my foot on the accelerator!'

"What is it with you and your baggy clothes?"

'Yeah it looks like we finally caught that peeping tom...'

"Ooh, are those Reese's Pieces?"

Police crime scene.

'They got me for 'hate-texting.''

'Good cop - bad cop is enough. We don't need morally ambiguous cop.'

'I'm not a bad driver, they're bad pedestrians.'

'Okay, sit there. . . but give me the keys.'

"Number three. Take off the hat and sunglasses."

"Me? Keeping winning scratch cards? Never!! Champagne officer?"

'We've searched the whole house, and there's still no sign of the evidence. To be honest, I'm starting to think we've got the wrong guy.'

"But on the other hand..."

'Watch out, he's an eclectic eel!'

'Yes, it was number 4, I'm positive,'

'Hey! Knock it off, will ya?'

'Panic stations! Parking dilemma!'