Comedic Cop Pillows

"I decided to ticket you 'cause I'm bored again."

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

Pinata Crime Scene Investigation.

'At least the bigger prop gives us more thrust.'

'You're an inspector now?'

'Tonight the remains of Jimmy Hoffa have finally been discovered with what appears to be millions upon millions of unpaired socks.'

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

"We're all metric now..."

"No, I said, 'You turn here, not, 'U-Turn here'."

The few moments delay was the downfall of 'The Cat'.

Police Academy - Remedial Reading of Rights

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

'So how do you like the new job?' - 'Not bad, better than walking the streets.'

Golf Crime Scene.

'We would like you to accompany us to the station, sir!'

"I wasn't texting while driving. I was driving while texting."

'If it weren't for baseball, this whole thing could have ended much differently.'

'Hike the Alps? I'm getting out of breath just keeping my foot on the accelerator!'

'Yeah it looks like we finally caught that peeping tom...'

"What is it with you and your baggy clothes?"

'They got me for 'hate-texting.''

Police crime scene.

"Ooh, are those Reese's Pieces?"

'Good cop - bad cop is enough. We don't need morally ambiguous cop.'

'Okay, sit there. . . but give me the keys.'

'Yes, it was number 4, I'm positive,'

'Watch out, he's an eclectic eel!'

'I'm not a bad driver, they're bad pedestrians.'

"Me? Keeping winning scratch cards? Never!! Champagne officer?"

"Number three. Take off the hat and sunglasses."

'We've searched the whole house, and there's still no sign of the evidence. To be honest, I'm starting to think we've got the wrong guy.'

"But on the other hand..."

'Panic stations! Parking dilemma!'

'Calm down Harold, it's just a phase some teens go through. He just shaved his coloured feathers off to express his feminine side!'