Comedic Hunting Story Lover Pillows

'So Ben, how do you feel about helping Ed break in his pup?'

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

'I take it this is your first big game hunt?!!'

The other day during the zombie apocalypse

'I'm not trying to take away from the fact that you are a twisted, brilliant genius. . .but what is with the size of this bloody forehead?!?'

'You look lovely, but we need to lengthen your train a bit...'

Stuffed animal head falls on man.

"Pet peeves" "I fear the cat." "I fear the cat" "I fear the cat." "Fecced me."

'Pointless Pets: A ceramic tiled giraffe.'

Farmer with gun shots instead of flying ducks

'Not me...I'm watching my cholesterol!'

'You think one is tough, try raising two!'

Shooting in Ireland

"I wish he'd wait until I'd shot the bloody bird before trying to retrieve it."

'Holy S**t!'

"It's tough, but their right to keep and bear arms must not be infringed."

'This looks like a deer feeding area.'

"The fact is I don't know a single damn story about any of them. I just rent the place furnished."

'What am I blind, Bob?'

'Don't worry about running out of petrol - I just happen to have a spare two gallon can in my rucksack !'

What most people don't know is that the 8th Deadly Sin is 'lateness'..."

"Do you think your husband is on to us?"

"I heard this pond is full of big bass!"

'I barely got a shot off on this big fellow.'

"If I had to guess I'd say your son's acne is the result of a sudden surge of hormones."

"I understand you spent the summer on someone's ass. Can you tell us what that was like?"

'Now a word of advice: leave those danged decoys alone!'

Sporting rector cancels meeting so he can shoot

Mitt Romney's family tales.

"It's not always funny in the land of milk and honey."

The Magnificent Seven II

'Showoff!'

'Well, Mrs. Ryan, your husband started the argument. Listen, I have my hunting licence and he is in season, so technically it's not murder!'

'Fred insists that he is not fat, just too short for his weight.'

Books: What Katy did, What Katy did next & Why Katie got an ASBO.