Comedic Heist Enthusiast Gifts

"Ahem, if you're planning to rob the place could you please get a move on."

Wedding Day Itinerary.

'You know bank pens never work. Why didn't you write the holdup note before we left?!'

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

"O.K., one last big rhubarb score. But then I'm out of the pie game for good."

"I started to think outside the box. Then I started to think outside the law."

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

"You heading south again this summer?"

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

"Everybody freeze! This is a stickup!"

Early Ram Raids

"Any other educational qualifications besides Trump university?"

The few moments delay was the downfall of 'The Cat'.

"Keep it running."

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

"It's your husband from beyond. He says stop trying to 'Google' him."

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

"When you said you were getting a pet to help you through the lockdown, I thought you meant a cat."

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

'So, what have we learnt here? We do not have knife fights on the bouncy castle!'

'Another successful heist!'

"THIS IS A HOLD UP!"

"Oh, and a five and five ones."

Night Deposits.

"Well, I'll be-we just spent all weekend planning to rob a façade."

Eskimo in Igloo

'He doesn't like to be called an Optometrist. He prefers the title 'Visionary'!'

'This is what happens when you try to blow out that many candles.'

'...and finally I'd just like to thank my plastic surgeon for giving me these puppies.'

Police crime scene.

"Also, this apartment comes with easy access to the stray cats in the alley."

Hmmm, this reminds me...your mother called last night.