Comedic Furniture Protectors T-Shirts

"Do you know what DFS stands for? Designed for Scratching."

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

Surf Casting

I like this one. Do you have it in blue?

Diving Cat.

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

'Gents toilet? Ah, got me there...'

"Honey! He's breached the recliner! I repeat, the puppy has breached my La-Z-Boy!!"

'Look at that! Our first big snowfall, Timmy!'

"You ever get the feeling the posse's starting to lose focus?"

'Hey! By appointment only!!'

'Can you wear something quieter than those old corduroys?'

'Having him declawed was a total was a total waste of money.'

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

"Wife and two hernias to support!"

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

"I've designed the logo for your new social media app. It's a dirty laundry basket."

"You'd like a second opinion? Okay, I think you should stay off the furniture too."

"Reproduction furniture."

'You''ll just have to accept the fact that they're more concerned with their furniture than with you.'

Private View.

'I don't mind you buying the camouflage suit at the mall, but did you have to wear it home.?

'Remember the good old days when he wasn't allowed on the furniture?'

'I used to wrap the couch in plastic, but this is better.'

Why Men Get Angry and Why Women Get Angry

Couch on stilts so cats can't scratch it

"...P.S. Stay off the furniture!"

'I don't care how smart he is, he's not allowed on the furniture!'

'Mum! There's something in the paddling pool.'

Authentic signed Holy Grail

"Enough of this. Let's go shred a sofa."