Comedic Furniture Protectors T-Shirts

"Do you know what DFS stands for? Designed for Scratching."

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

Surf Casting

I like this one. Do you have it in blue?

Diving Cat.

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

"Honey! He's breached the recliner! I repeat, the puppy has breached my La-Z-Boy!!"

'Look at that! Our first big snowfall, Timmy!'

'Gents toilet? Ah, got me there...'

"You ever get the feeling the posse's starting to lose focus?"

'Can you wear something quieter than those old corduroys?'

'Having him declawed was a total was a total waste of money.'

'Hey! By appointment only!!'

"Wife and two hernias to support!"

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

"I've designed the logo for your new social media app. It's a dirty laundry basket."

"You'd like a second opinion? Okay, I think you should stay off the furniture too."

"Reproduction furniture."

'I don't mind you buying the camouflage suit at the mall, but did you have to wear it home.?

Private View.

'You''ll just have to accept the fact that they're more concerned with their furniture than with you.'

'Remember the good old days when he wasn't allowed on the furniture?'

'I used to wrap the couch in plastic, but this is better.'

Why Men Get Angry and Why Women Get Angry

Couch on stilts so cats can't scratch it

'I don't care how smart he is, he's not allowed on the furniture!'

Darth Vader advertises nasal strips.

"...P.S. Stay off the furniture!"

'Mum! There's something in the paddling pool.'

Authentic signed Holy Grail

"You bring the tequila, and I'll bring the Lyme."

"Enough of this. Let's go shred a sofa."