Comedic Flexibility T-Shirts

'This is the first time I've ever seen a geek with a pulled muscle.'

'Let's not go by the book.'

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"As you can see, we have a very flexible work-from-home-at-the-office policy."

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

"Remember, ladies, if you are doing this right you shouldn't be able to do it."

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

'Keep repeating to yourself: I am a high flyer, I will not dive for the salmon.'

'Look honey! I can touch my knees!'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

Whiskey wars

'I'm sorry Martha, but I've fallen in love with a light bulb.'

"It's only until the gas prices go down and I can afford to drive the car again. Maybe you should have an ambulance follow me."

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

'As soon as I mention Nietzsche - stop serving me, okay.'

'Listen son-if God had wanted us to fly he would have given us air tickets.'

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

"If Einstein is correct, when we get back, my car will have been double parked for 320 years."

'OK... Technically you CAN touch your toes.'

"If atheism is a religion, why hasn't it broken up into splinter groups who murder each other?"

"I warned you about those contortions, Mr. Dershowitz."

"Whisky? Have you got anything stronger?"

'The pain in my head always seems to subside when I flush your bills down the toilet!'

"I guess I'll never understand women."

Dad Dancing.

"What if we don't like their country personas?"

"You've placed me in a difficult position here, Malcolm."

'Do you mean I leave a lot to be desired bad, or a lot to be desired good?'

'Well, at least we were able to remove that pesky hangnail. So, you have to be pretty stoked about that."

Man eating his meal with his feet.

"It's nice to see you expressing yourselves, but what you need to focus on what's good for the whole group!"

"Great pet, but we should have given him less energy."

The next step in human evolution was homophilanthropist.

"So, all this talk about appealing to our better angels..."