Comedic Duo Appreciator Pillows

'Watch your step. I happen to know you're an alpha male.'

Donuts. Pastries. Danish. Cookies. I'm breaking my diet resolution, but on the other hand I'm keeping my resolution to visit old friends!

Muggins and Free Loader

"You should always stretch before engaging in strenuous activity."

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

'I believe we've located the cause of your back problem, Mrs. Kangaroo.'

Fly Fishing

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

'I heard the Board was talking about kicking you, but I don't know if it's upstairs or out.'

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

Songs about Texas, next 1100 miles.

"Do you see that inexplicably beautiful hydrangea over there?… Nature calls."

The Pink Bantha

'I asked Will if he wrote it. He said he wasn't sure.'

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

Conservation Area

"April Fools'! You should’ve seen the look on your face!"

"Did you just do a rooster?"

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

Moulin Rouge Security

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

"All stories have been told, all songs have been sung. But that won't stop us from making movie reboots."

All-Verbal Westerns

Golfer mistakes a hen's egg for his golf ball.

"A haand gel...!?"

'Another blond hair! You've been making a lot of night calls lately...'